“Every chaos has an order hidden in it. What we see as a chaos, is actually driven by a very disciplined and dedicated order of things. What we need to do is focus on the stuff before us, make our way through this chaos, and that order will sort itself out for us”
It's funny the things you take for granted until there is a threat of losing it completely. I never really accepted or understood how much I needed my little family away from the Nest. Fizban Underwood has been a large part of my life for the last year and some... Pretty much beside me during some of the harder parts of my in-world life and a lot of my real life stuff as well. Just as I had been there with him through the loss of his Mother and now the total upheaval of his life.
Even with Ele and I occasionally on rocky and sometimes turbulent ground, words can't really express how grateful I am that she isn't going offline too. Sometimes, sharing a name means more than any of us realize... sharing a name, a purpose, and a person. It's crazy things like that which strengthen a bond with out you really realizing it. And Ele and I need all the strength we can get so we can be strong girls for our Love.
I am an advocate of the saying "Everything happens for a reason." even as unpopular as that saying might bed. Sometimes, that reason, and the way it's happening... well.., it sucks. But there is a purpose behind all things. Perhaps it is impossible to see the purpose now, and sometimes you'll never quite "click" as to why things happened as they did but each day is like a puzzle piece and everything we do, provided we make the right decisions, has a rhyme and another piece into which they fit together.
Sometimes I wish we could view the layout of our life. Just stretch it out onto a table and peruse it. See what we did when, connect the dots as to how one thing here influenced another there. I feel if we could just glimpse that, and be given the insight to -see- just exactly how the ebb and flow of things like this work... I imagine we'd be a lot more accepting of what comes. On that token however... I feel there would be a lot more attempts at deliberately shaping what happens and ultimately that would defeat the purpose of happenstance and the rhyme and rhythm in which we all follow.
All told, I hate how life is shaping up right now, I hate the things that are happening and I hate how those things are affecting me and making me feel, but in the back of my mind I keep seeing the puzzle, and I wonder... Which piece is this, what does -this- journey mean? How will this affect my future? All I can really do is go with it and hope, and try to stay positive. Who knows... this could be a gateway for bigger and better things for all involved.
Ultimately, only time can tell.
~Sigh
